GULFPORT, FL HIDDEN GEMS

Gulfport, FL Tommy’s Hideaway Lively Street Scene

GULFPORT, FL HIDDEN GEMS ‍

Gulfport, FL is a charming, artsy, waterfront city located on Boca Ciega Bay and its Bohemian, “Old Florida” charm boasts its highly rated local eateries, live music venues, thriving Art Scene and Quirky Festivals.

Some places become more than a hometown. They become part of who we are. For the past 26 years, Gulfport, FL has been a place of raising my family, meeting friends who have become family, waterfront sunsets, dolphins, creative spirits and unexpected discoveries. When I first arrived in Gulfport, many moons ago, I never imagined how my life would turn out and how impactful this eclectic little laid-back waterfront community would become home.

So it seems appropriate to launch my Coastal Compass Series, sharing the amazing community that I call home in Florida!

Here are some of my favorite hidden gems, the spots that shaped our days and still inspire the pieces I create at Coastal Walker. There are so many to share, so this is just the beginning of Gulfport’s hidden gems.

GULFPORT BEACH: A great quick respite away from the hustle and bustle of daily routines. I enjoy bringing my beach chair and a good book, and sitting along the edge of the water and drifting off in the words. Something about sitting by the sea, has a natural remedy effect. The beach has shaded areas to sit on a swing or lay a blanket down and rest or do yoga. There are different yogis who offer their practice and Sound Bowl Healing at sunset is another favorite activity to check out. Gulfport’s Beach at anytime and especially sunsets holds quiet moments and memories that just feel good.

Gulfport, FL Beach Sunset

GULFPORT CASINO: The local Historic Gulfport Casino comes alive with the nighttime glow and community energy when the sun sets. Currently, the Casino has taken a hit from Helene and Martin Hurricanes that devastated this area. But the city is rebuilding slowly and coming back to life. My memory of fun times spent there is still with me.

When my Mother moved to FL, to be near our family, I would take her to the Casino. She fell in love with this place as she was a Ballroom Dance Teacher in her day. She felt alive there and she was whisked away but some lovely dancers. My other fond memory is of my dear friend Caroline Morton Hicks, who loved going Swing Dancing on Wednesdays nights there. She made it look effortless and we would laugh the night away.

The Gulfport Casino is worth the visit and plan to get your dancing shoes on for a night of lively dancing, chatter and laughter. It’s a place where friends gather, where the city’s energy feels communal and bright.

WILLIAMS PIER: Historic Williams Pier recently was repaired after the hurricanes and is a popular local fishing spot. Take a stroll down the pier to enjoy the scenery of the many fishermen, pelicans, egrets, dolphins and sailboats anchored off the shore.

ART WALKS: The 1st Friday Art Walk on Beach Blvd takes place in the heart of the cities Arts District. Downtown fills with painterly light and conversation as the Art walks thread through galleries and studios, bringing together local painters, sculptors, and makers. You’ll find seascapes rendered in weathered boards, ceramics glazed in shore-tone blues, and jewelry that favors organic, imperfect lines. The artists’ willingness to try new textures and forms encourages me to experiment—using shells in new ways, combining found beach glass with reclaimed metals, or mounting small seascapes in hand-framed wall pieces.

GULFPORT’S “ART IN THE YARD” is another bi-annual community event where the city’s neighborhoods transform into a massive open-air gallery, allowing residents to showcase and sell original artwork right from their front yards.

These walks are where I reconnect with the creative pulse of the city. In the future, I AKA as Coastal Walker, hopes to be a part of this event at my home!

GULFPORT TUESDAY FRESH MARKET: The Fresh Market is a year round open-air market every Tuesday. The Market is located in Gulfport’s historic waterfront district on Beach Boulevard. The vendors offer a variety of produce, local raw honey, teas, herbs, gourmet jams and jellies, breads, vegetarian/vegan/gluten free and ethnic foods. It is a weekly treasure trove of so much more bath and body products, artwork, jewelry, paintings, macrame and on and on… I love wandering the stalls for food that soothes my soul and handcrafted wares that decorate my home. These vendors often become the heart of a Coastal Walker piece, reminding me to keep doing what I love and to continue following your own path.

GULFPORT EATERIES:

O’MADDY’S BAR & GRILL located at 5405 Shore Blvd S. is a tried and try staple with its hearty food, live music and entertainment, dancing and lively atmosphere. The outdoor indoor waterfront location is famous for its laid-back beach-bar atmosphere. The upstairs expansion features panoramic bay views to soak it all in. Also it offers boat-docking access for patrons arriving by water.

STELLA’S located at 2914 Beach Blvd S, is my spot for hearty breakfasts and brunches. The outdoor patio and deck have colorful umbrellas featuring a fun, nun-themed motif. This Key-West vibe has a dog friendly patio too and amazing food and music.

TOMMY’S HIDEAWAY-WOOD FIRED PIZZA & PUB is located at 3121 Beach Blvd S. is my spot for the popular Neapolitan-style wood-fired pizzas. The menu is extensive but my tried and true pizza is the “Fig, Goat Cheese & Prosciutto with drizzled balsamic”. I crave it! The owners roots of New York and Boston, MA makes me feel right at home with my Boston accent. The outside live music is festive in the evenings while taking in the sunset.

Dining in Gulfport is intimate and unpretentious—exactly the kind of warmth I try to mirror in my home decor pieces: familiar, functional, and a little bit poetic.

CLAM BAYOU NATURE PARK TRAIL: is a Secret Coastal Trail at Osgood Point that winds through the mangroves and estuary near the Gulfport Marina District. This is a great place for a walk or drop your kayak in for a paddle. At low tide, clusters of oysters peek above the waterline-clustered together forming natures art. These quiet places feel like a grandmother’s story: full of lineage and patience.

My take away from this great escape spot, inspires me to continue making Oyster Salt and Pepper Cellars and Oyster Ornaments that echo their form—simple organic shapes, gold gilded paint along their rough edges to showcase natures shapes. This place is a relaxing spot to unwind and to explore native plants and simple beauty.

The serenity and vibrant colors found throughout Gulfport often find their way into Coastal Walkers designs, from tropical shell pieces to beach-inspired home decor.

Gulfport offers a lovely community of local shops, restaurants, bars, breweries, galleries, artists that gives Gulfport a sense of identity and character.

My wish is to always support local businesses so my next COASTAL COMPASS HIDDEN GEMS SERIES will highlight: Pia’s Veranda and Pia’s Trattoria, Neptunes, Mademoiselle Paris, Let It Be Ice Cream, Gulfport Brewery…

Happy Traveling,

Diane

Trust the Process

Welcome! I am so glad you are here and “Thank You” for choosing to shop small and connect with Coastal Walker. Coastal Walker’s Jewelry & Home Decor Shop and Blog originated with a dream to live, “NOW” and to trust the process of creating from a passionate, soul centered space. Coastal Walker’s art is handcrafted for the Free Spirit, as a reminder to connect with ourself first, renew that inner spirit and connect with others in nature. I am a small batch maker located in FL & MA where each piece is handcrafted by me in my studio space and Coastal She Shed. Creating and working with my hands is very healing and rewarding. My hope is that the wearer feels the gentle and loving energy and/or receives the calming reminder of the magic of the coastal flow. Our sweet earth provides the gifts & offerings, and reminds us to stay connected, and grounded to the earth. I invite you to join me by following the journey on the Coastal Walker Website, Shop, Blogs, or visiting the amazing Boutiques that showcase my art. This business would not be possible without all of your empowering support.

Please stay in touch via Coastal Walker’s Website, follow on Instagram @ Coastal_Walker, or Facebook @ coastal walker, if you have any questions or inquiries, or just want to say, “hello”. I love to stay connected with all of you and I am open to collaborations so we can rise together. Let’s dream BIGGER in 2022!

Peace,

Diane ✌️

Woohoo Road Trippin’ 2021

Originally Posted: April 22, 2021

Jimmy Buffett lyrics, “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes”, was blasting on the truck radio as we headed out of Gainesville, FL on our 2021 road trip.  So appropriate to cap off our amazing weekend in G’ville celebrating Kasey’s UF Grad School Graduation. It was a blast and it brought back so many memories of years celebrating Kyle, Kasey and Maude’s graduations and now we were back for another final celebration!  Our boys loved their college life and UF provided a great education and fun Gator festivities. They spent a lot of late nights studying at the library as they liked to tell me during our weekly talks and I believed every word! (haha)

On the road again… we headed to New Orleans, LA for our first stop.  We cruised through lots of Louisiana low land and  bridges over the bayou’s into the city of New Orleans.  Our hotel, La Provincial was a great spot on the edge of the French Quarter to relax in some historical architecture and quaint courtyards.  The charm of brick, flickering gas lanterns, wrought iron, and Moon Flower vines was very enchanting.  We settled into our private room in our own courtyard and unwound.  The French Quarters is the oldest neighborhood in the city of New Orleans and appears to be a prime cultural attraction.  We headed out late that evening to experience Bourbon Street, the life of the a party town, bursting with lots of good-ole-fashioned live music, neon lights, balconies of people throwing beads amongst all walks of life. Plenty of characters and Ghost Tour groups of people walking the streets.

Our morning started off at French Toast an incredible little spot, located right behind our hotel. The mimosa’s, crepes and brioche french toast was incredible! We took a long walk to Magazine Street a more secluded residential area of southern architecture, boutiques and small eateries. We hopped on the Trolley and headed back to the French Quarter. Stopped and had a drink to listen to the Dixie Horn band music at Jacksons Park. We strolled on over to the Mississippi River and then indulged in Sweet Beignets and Coffee at the Cafe Du Monde – powdered sugar delights while listening to live jazz music nearby. Definitely needed to walk and shop again after all that dough indulgence.

Later that evening, we enjoyed dinner in the courtyard at Muriel’s on Jackson Square,  a haunted spot where the ghost of Pierre Antoine Lepardi Jordan lives.  My real southern creole Shrimp and grits, bread pudding and Vampire’s Kiss Martini hit the spot. The live music, street characters and nightlife came alive as we strolled along Bourbon Streets festivities. Neon lights, frozen concoctions and wild libations was an understatement.  Feeling a bit older than the crowd but what the heck, age is all in our mind and we loved the live music.  

The next morning, we once again indulged in breakfast at French Toast and I got my New Orleans Brioche French Toast which was out of this world!  I had to unbutton my skirt cause it wasn’t happening!

Until next time, New Orleans… thanks for the warm hospitality!

Next stop San Antonio, Texas at Riverside…

Dream it, Wish it, Do it.

Originally Posted: January 14, 2021

“Dream It, Wish It, Do It“,  resonates with me. These words are simple and right to the point.  I am a big dreamer and find them helpful in moving forward with life’s decisions.  I wish things into happening  by sending out positive affirmations into the world.  I “do it” by taking charge of my actions and finding my inner peace.  These words are hung in my home and are a daily reminder to my personal mantra.  Always being true to our inner peace and carving out time for self care is so important to our happy spirit. It is not always easy and life throws us so many twists and turns.  What we allow in and how we process our external experiences also plays into the whole picture. I am a work in progress and I own it.  As long as I dream, wish and do, I am good to go.

Do You Dream? Do Your Dreams Come True? Act Now, Coastal Walker’s Dream is Alive!

Originally Posted: April 25, 2020

Hello, I am Diane, the Creative Director and Artist behind Coastal Walker’s Blog + Shop,  and I want to welcome you to join me on my journey. I have always been a dreamer and one night I had a dream and woke up and wrote the idea in my journal, so I would not forget. I headed to the beach that morning for my walk and thought more about the dream. I did not know where this dream originated but in my heart I knew that I was going to make it happen. I grabbed a piece of driftwood and carved in the sand the name, “Coastal Walker” and I sat down and thought more about this idea. I decided to take a picture on a whim and then continued on my walk. The name just came through me and I wrote two words that have meaning to me as I love anything “coastal” and I love “walking”, so I had a strong emotional connection to the words. I did not know at the time what this all meant but in my heart I felt a strong comfort and at that moment I manifested my dream. Since that day, my life has transcended into pure creativity and to living and sharing my dream!

The Coastal Walker blog provides the platform to share and connect with others through my writing, traveling, and creations. I have been journaling my whole life and find writing to be freeing. My love for travel and all things adventurous stems from my restless spirit. I was born and raised in New England, but have resided on the West Coast of FL for the past 20 years. Recently, we purchased a fun beach house in Green Harbor, MA so we are blessed to be able to enjoy the southern charm of FL and New England’s South Shore coasts. Our coastal homes provide a wonderful opportunity to design coastal jewelry and home decor and to complete DIY projects that reflect the ambiance of each region.

My creations are inspired by nature. My Jewelry and Home Decor pieces reflect the wonders of the natural and spiritual world since I incorporate these elements into their designs. My love for the ocean is evident in the choice of colors and elements. I LOVE pearls, seashells, turquoise, sea glass, lava, wood, stones, driftwood, feathers, metals ~ the list goes on and on… I am a gatherer and beachcomber and love to up cycle my treasures.

Since I began this journey, I added my SHOP to the blog to offer one-of-kind or limited edition products. CW items are also available in boutiques in FL and MA.

Join me, connect, share your heart out so we together can learn from one another. We RISE together…

I honor the flow of my creative energy and my hope is that my voice and art resonates a deeper meaning within you.

Coastal Walker’s Mission is to “Live Life Now and Create Space to Dream”.

Meet me on the Sand and Dream On….

Peace, 

Diane

Clam + Scallop Dish

Originally Posted: April 23, 2020

Always Be Yourself, Unless You can be a Clam… then Always be a Clam. Make a Statement in your home with these Designer Sea Shell Bowls inspired by the ocean. Each unique Scallop, Atlantic Clam and Oyster shell provides the coastal organic vibe for any home. Shells are found in FL, GA, SC, and New England along my beach walks. Each shell is decoupaged with coastal and/or colorful designs: nautical, chinoiserie, graphic patterns, crabs, lobsters, anchors, flowers, animal prints, lemons… Gold leafed edges accent the organic shape of each unique shell. The shells offer a colorful vibe to home decor, nightstands, offices, foyer tables and table scapes and can be used for jewelry, office supplies, keys and any small trinket. Plan a Clam Bake and decorate with these fun whimsical shells or just incorporate them in your charcuterie board displays with nuts, figs, shaved chocolate or toothpicks… The usage is endless. SHELL-abrate Life!

Seaside Collection

Originally Posted: April 2, 2020

Shine Bright in the sunshine and days spent outside in nature. Nature soothes the soul and this connection to nature is incorporated in this collection. The SeaSide Collection captures the sunshine with the gold accents and the various freshwater coin and baroque pearls reflect the purity of the ocean. Pearls are the mysterious gems of the ocean and symbolize purity of heart and soul. Each one is organically unique and no two are alike. Embrace the subtleties of there natural elements. The hand selected FL Cowrie Shells provide the coastal statement that pops your tropical wardrobe outfits. The faceted aqua chalcedony or blush pink quartz gemstones dangle and glimmer in the sunlight and add sparkle. Wear this collection with pride knowing YOU Shine Bright Always!

Sunbathing FL Style

Originally Posted: April 2, 2020

Sand sculpture art has always been a family event and celebrating the holidays on Anna Maria Island, FL provided the perfect setting. The child within always comes out at the beach and spending hours on end creating fun tropical sand sculptures feeds this craving. Frosty the Snowman sunbathing was perfect to use for our Annual Christmas Holiday Card! We had a blast on vacation spending time slowing down and enjoying long Beach days all together again. Cannot think of anything better I would rather do for the holidays. I only need the wide vast of beaches, sand between my toes and time spent together enjoying sunrise, sunburns and sunsets. Happy Holidays from the Stefanski family!

Coastal Walker Welcome Beads

Originally Posted: April 1, 2020

Coastal Walkers Welcome Beads are a fun casual home decor statement. This beaded garland makes an artful addition to any casual table display.  Designed with natural wood beads, white washed, recycled glass beads, jute tassel and various seashells collected from my travels.  Oysters from Low Country, SC, Gulf Coast Apalachicola, FL, Island Creek Oysters, MA and various New England varieties add the organic coastal element.  In addition, I use hand picked FL seashells that I find along my beach combing the coastlines.  They are a symbol of Hospitality and Welcoming family, friends and guests to your home. They look great adorning your front hallway table, or any accent table along with hanging from hooks, lampshades and doorknobs. String them across your fireplace mantel and create a coastal or farmhouse vignette. 

Welcome Beads make great Hostess Gifts and Housewarming gifts. These coastal gifts are handmade  and remind everyone to take time at the beach! Finding the shells at all the local beaches is always a fun activity and adds a personal touch to these unique Welcome Beads!

College Bound

Originally Posted: April 20, 2018

“Now what do I do with my time?”, I am thinking, as I drive away from dropping my daughter off at college.  I have spent the last twenty-seven years raising three wildly courageous children and now my youngest was going off to college.  Tears welled up in my eyes, so much so, that I had to pull the car over and stop to just breathe. I knew this day would come and I thought I was mentally prepared.  I encouraged all of my children to fly high. I was intrigued by their ease in letting go and moving on.  I made sure that I did not let her know how I was really feeling deep down as this was my daughter’s day to journey on to HER future.  She made the decision to move from Florida to New Hampshire to attend college and she was so excited to begin a whole new life.  She packed up all her belongings and off we drove from FL in our Jeeps packed to the roof of items she thought she couldn’t live without.  She realized the importance of selecting personal belongings that were necessary and the rest were memories. This process was cleansing. As we drove through all the diverse states along the way, the transformation began.

On more than one occasion on the road trip, I let the truth slip that this was a bittersweet time in my life.  I pride myself in appearing that everything is fine with me.  I put up my biggest shield. I don’t want any of my children thinking that mom isn’t okay when they are not around.  I will be fine and I keep telling myself this till the tears stop. Everything stops.  Everything starts. There is a flow to life.  Knowing this concept helps me get through the bumps in the road.  When I find myself too much in my head, I get outside and take walks, go to yoga, garden, make jewelry and write to release the inner angst that can weigh my heart down. I do not deny my feelings a place, but I know that they will pass and that the flow of life will continue.  I sometimes think about times in my growing up journey and how I made my own decisions and went my own way without any help from others.  I also wonder why I sometimes feel the need to make it my concern when in actuality it is my children’s decisions only.  Turning off being a mother takes a concerted effort to stop, pause and let go. Am I the only one that grapples with the desire to help, guide, support?  There is a fine line and I remind myself to tread lightly even though I want to solve it all.  I have had time to look at this side of me and I am growing and changing. No one is making decisions for me and things are turning out beautifully just the way they should. Hmm feeling blessed.

We both drove on down roads that we had never driven.  We stopped and talked and gathered our thoughts.  We played music loud and rolled down the windows and let the cold fresh air nourish our souls. We both were traveling to new places and it wasn’t just my daughter going off to college, but it was me moving on to my new place.  We had a blast traveling together on this trip that met both our desires and through all this, we found that we had more in common than we thought possible.  I needed to let go, and she needed me to. We needed to not look back, but forward.  We needed to just be present in the moment and revel in the unknown. Fly baby girl, fly!

~ To raise a child, who is comfortable enough to leave you, means you’ve done your job.  They are not ours to keep, but to teach how to soar on their own ~

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life now?

~ MaryOliver~

Tip Toe, Skip, Walk or Run

Originally Posted: February 2, 2018

Does the walker choose the path, or does the path choose us?  My daily walks start down a wooden boardwalk towards the beach.  Each day I feel welcomed as my feet hit this well worn familiar path.  I know the curves, the quirky creaks in the old wooden boards, the missing weathered fence slats, but I am reminded at this moment to breathe, inhale and exhale in awe of nature’s beauty.

Each day this path takes me down a new journey.  My eyes are delighted by the simple beauty that opens up as I step onto the sand.  I head to the shoreline and find the perfect edge to walk the length of its curves.  I become part of the ebb and flow of the rhythm of the tides.  The energy of the ocean pulls me in and lets me out if I am present in the moment.  Raindrops wash away tears of fear, snowflakes melt away inner chill , sun kisses my eyelids as I welcome the warmth, and clouds cast a shadow of doubt. Each day brings change. Change is good. This is okay.

We are all on our own path.  The choice is always up to us to choose which one we want to walk and if things feel out of balance, we need to remember that we still have a choice to change this path. This belief helps let go of the negative energy and puts a giddy-up in our step.  Tip toe, skip, walk, or run during these moments as ultimately the first step moves you closer to the direction you wanted to go in the first place.  You just didn’t know it at that time because you allowed doubt to slide into your thoughts.  Always believe in the higher power and especially in YOURSELF.

Did you see the full moon? Did you hear the song of the plover?  Did you feel the wind against your cheeks?  Did you smell the salt air? Did you touch the seashells? Did you feel your inner self ? Did you find your balance?  Did you notice someone or something cross your path and change your whole direction?  These signs are meant to cross your path and noticing and exploring why, can be enlightening.  Being receptive, confident and staying curious fuels the journey.

I am reminded of my childhood bedroom poster that somehow at a tender young age pulled at my heart strings.  This poster hung thumbtacked to my wall, and as I went to sleep each night I would reread it a thousand times.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.  

~Robert Frost~

Our child within only knows the truth. Unguarded, raw and honest. Bring me back to that inner child that was hungry for curiosity and passion.  This memory can be NOW.

So tip toe, skip, walk, or run down your path with curiosity. Who is in balance knows. Do you allow yourself to “feel” what is intangible?  What path are you walking?  

“You Are My Cup Of Tea”

Originally Posted: January 10, 2018

My Mother would suggest that you go make yourself a hot cup of tea with honey and then curl up on the couch with your afghan before reading this story. Obviously, it is totally up to you if you stop here and make yourself a cup before continuing, but I can assure you that if you do, you will more fully experience her ways. The twinkle in her Irish eyes and the smile of contentment when chatting over a cup of tea, was the epitome of my mother’s ideal world. She had a collection of fancy tea cups and saucers that she proudly displayed on her traditional serving cart in the kitchen. If she was feeling extra fancy, she would serve the tea in her sterling silver tipping teapot kettle on a stand with matching sugar and creamer and then use her fancy little spoons to plop a sugar cube in my cup if I needed to sweeten up. Her sugar wafers lined her faint pink and yellow depression glass dishes that sat perfectly on the doilies that dotted her white wrought iron kitchen table with ice cream parlor chairs. Overhead, was her chandelier with candelabra bulbs that would be dimly lit to set the mood. My mother had a knack for presentation in which she invited you in to her enlightening chats about her past life and about listening to anything that we needed to discuss. You immediately felt relaxed as she gave you her time and undivided attention. No topic was off limits and the honest, caring conversations often ending up in laughing fits and tears rolling down both of our cheeks. These are the intimate moments shared, that I will miss the most.

I woke up unsettled one Saturday morning and had this overpowering feeling that I must visit my mother. I quickly called my sister and told her what I was feeling and she decided to take the drive with me to Rhode Island. This decision was a powerful one and one that I will always remember as my turning point. As I watched my Mum lying in her hospital bed, I grabbed her soft hand and leaned in closer to her so she could whisper into my ear. She said, “go live your life now as I have lived mine.” I held my grip tighter and told her it was okay to, “let go”, and that we will meet and share a cup of tea again. I imagined her whispering, “you are my cup of tea”, as she often would say to everyone. In this instance, I wanted time to stand still and to last a lifetime. I held her hand tighter as I managed to capture a cherished picture of this moment so as never to forget.

I knew in my heart what was happening, but my mind wanted to control the outcome. I grappled with the fact that I had no control and no matter how much I wanted the outcome to be different, it would not change. I finally released my need to control and up until this point in my life I had never allowed myself the capacity to lose control. This was not an easy feat, for all those that know me well can attest. While I wanted my Mum to keep living so that I could have one more conversation with her, she on the other hand, was ready. Truthfully, I will never understand this choice and I have a hard time wrapping my head around this decision, but once again I am reminded that the decisions we make may not always be our own. Ultimately, the decisions were in my Mum’s control and not mine. I was so grateful that I had my sister’s support by my side and this just reconfirmed my love for my sister.

A flashback to my childhood came to me as I sat at her bedside listening to the dull hum of her oxygen tank machine.

I remembered so many happy moments: mealtime conversations, endless chats and laughter, camping, running around in the woods building forts, skating on our creek, learning to swim, water skiing, driving boats, sailing, rowing and spending every summer at the cottage. “Boops”, our family rowboat, became a symbol of every summer spent at the cottage because Nana Marion, the matriarch of our family, would gather her grandchildren into the rowboat to make sure that she captured a summer photo. This family tradition meant so much to her and is a legacy that will never be forgotten.

Year after year, the number of grandchildren that sat in the rowboat with Nana grew as all of her children had children of their own. The rowboat symbolized so much more than pictures could capture. The grandkids would also get excited to go blueberry picking along the shores of White Island Pond in the rowboat with Nana so they would run and get their sand bucket so they could fill them up for blueberry pancakes or corn muffins. As they clambered into the boat making sure not to tip Nana out of the boat, they would often get stuck in the sand because of all the extra weight and then need a “heave ho” to send them off. As the grandchildren grew in size and numbers, they didn’t want to miss out on a good time so they would tie the ski rope to the cleat and then attach big inner tubes so they could float around the lake with Nana at the helm. So, you see, “row, row, row your boat”, became a cherished pastime. The last summer before we sold the cottage, Nana once again rounded up all eight of her grandchildren and captured years of fond memories. She was so proud of all of her grandchildren and loved everyone unconditionally. What a lesson she taught our children.

I snapped back to the stark reality, as I sat alongside her bed as she slept. My sister and I reassured ourselves that this ending is what Mum wanted and our togetherness provided closure. Serendipitously, as I walked out of the nursing home that day, I turned and noticed the carved wooden sign outside of the Nursing Center. Why hadn’t I noticed it before and what was the significance that drew me emotionally to it that I felt compelled to take a picture before I went home? The answer became clearer later that evening. The tree of life symbol was another sign from the spirits above. “Family ~ like branches on a tree, we all grow in different directions, but our roots remain as one”…

On our drive home, we reminisced about our childhood years and the closeness of our family clan. Years flashed through my mind and questions and answers I had, became clearer in my mind as we chatted. My parents provided a fun – loving childhood for Mark, Denise and I while we lived in Sharon, Norwood and at our cottage on White Island Pond, Plymouth, MA. My Mum was the card shark, reader, game player and my Dad was athletic, an artist, photographer and a tinkerer. He taught us how to swim, ski and to be handy with tools. His presence was kind and devoted but unfortunately my memories of him are way too limited. Our Dad passed away suddenly, on April 29, 1974 at the age of 53 of a massive heart attack, so the stark reality of life and death leaves a strong impression. He passed away in front of me outside as he was mowing the grass and I was raking the leaves. After his death, we embarked on our new normal, whatever that meant, and we supported each other whenever we could. My Mum continued to work endlessly supporting the three of us as we went off to live our lives.

Our family dynamics changed as we moved away but our individual strength and the summers spent at the cottage held us together. My Mum was my confidante and we always felt we had such a strong and unique mother daughter connection. The standard mother daughter relationship morphed into something way more powerful. We learned that time was precious and it was necessary to make the best of it and when we had vacation time we found ways to travel together. When out and about people would often think that Mum, Denise and I were sisters which of course made my Mum smile.

She loved getting dressed up and going out dancing and we equally enjoyed joining her.  She was a young widow raising three children and we learned that you do whatever it takes to get the job done. Nobody was going to do it for you. My fierce independence is rooted in the reality of watching my Dad pass right before my eyes at the tender age of thirteen. As a young girl, I just accepted this new life. I learned that masking and controlling my true emotions provided a powerful personal shield. Not until now, had I really dealt with those childhood emotions.

My Mum remarried eleven years later and had another wonderful life with my step dad Colonel David L. Fink.  They loved their Rhode Island military life, traveled the world, enjoyed their beach life, gardens, tomatoes and endless down home cooked meals. When you arrived at their home, you were greeted with open arms, bags of groceries, gained too much weight, but drove away exhausted from endless fun of playing cards, watching movies, going to the beach, and eating way too much even though we continued to tell them, “no more food”. My Mum was a caregiver personality and she prided herself in always being there for all of us. She cared for David till he passed five years ago and then we celebrated his life at the Newport Officers Club in Newport, RI, in his honor. David was a military man to his core and exemplified what it meant to give service to others. They both loved their military life and embraced all aspects so it was important to return to the Newport Naval Base with the Newport Bridge as a backdrop, to have a little send off with my Mum too.

After David’s passing, Mum decided to sell their house in Middletown, RI and buy another condo in warm FL. It was always a wish of mine that Mum would somehow live near me, but not until now had this ever happened. She found a cute condo near me in FL and decided to start her new life yet again. The quietness of being alone hit her hard and her desire to be around people to help with her new solitude became stronger. So off she sold her new condo soon after, and moved into an Independent Living Facility nearby. As the days rolled along, my mother’s heart and health deteriorated and her needs increased, so we moved along with these changes into an Assisted Living Facility to get her the needed care. The final move came about as I had made the decision to move back to MA into my new beach house up north. The timing of things was ironic and there was no way that I would leave my Mum in FL alone to not be cared for, so we decided to move her once again to a wonderful Assisted Living Facility in Rhode Island. It was right down the street from her prior home and we thought this may provide the light in her heart with all her past memories being so close. We felt content that she was home and close to us to visit and knew in our hearts we did the right thing. Life was a full circle for my mother…

We were gathered over at my sister’s house when I looked down at my phone and saw the #401 Rhode Island exchange and knew in my heart the news that I was going to receive. Here, it was the same day that we had just went down to visit her and now I was answering the call from her nurse notifying me that Mum had passed peacefully in her sleep. At that moment, I felt confident that Mum had heard everything we talked about, and did earlier together that day. She had waited to see us one last time too. There was no going back in time now. Honest, raw childhood emotions flooded my tears down my cheeks for now my Mum, Dad and David. I am forever grateful that I reacted on listening to my inner voice that morning to go visit her so that we could have one more moment together. My sister was equally in shock for the very same reason and we hugged knowing that following internal instincts is right and good. I am blessed with God’s power of giving me signs of his spirit and this strength led me to the answer. Tears of cleansing are good I tell myself often when I remember this moment. The darkness of the night sky and the quietness on the streets as we drove back and forth to Rhode Island one last time that day, enveloped our sadness.

Time has a way of transforming life and I am practicing living in the present, because that is all that is guaranteed. It feels good; it feels right for now. Mum told me that when she passed, that she did not want me to be sad but to go forth and live my life. She said she had a great long life and it was my time now to move along. During another intimate talk, we discussed where we would meet up. I know these talks were all brought on by me and my desire to stay connected once she passed, but I wanted to feel validated and to stay connected. I strongly believe that we are all connected to each other and to the whole universe. I get signs from my Dad as I go about my walks and have been collecting feathers from him for years. Yeah, I know it may sound different, but truthfully the more I pay attention to the worldly signs around me the more I am a believer. So, my Mum and I agreed on two things: to share a cup of tea and to meet up on the beach to talk whenever we needed the strength.

I love going for beach walks and for as long as I can remember, my Mum and I would take endless walks holding hands and solving world problems as we use to like to think we were doing. She walked the beaches as long as she could and the last time I took her in FL, I managed to wheel her chair down the wooden beach path so she could smell the salt air. As she sat on the bench that last time, she reminded me to always “keep an open-door policy”, and to offer tea and crumpets and more importantly to just listen to everyone’s stories. Time spent with family and friends is what made her complete.

Mum’s final wishes were to have a celebration in her honor. We planned the event at the cozy historical Winsor House Inn in Duxbury, MA. For an added final twist, my sister and I had the rowboat, “Boops” at the event and positioned it in the garden so that all the grandchildren could once again sit in there and be reminded of her spirit. This wonderful moment was full of smiles and laughter, in honor of Nana Marion. She would have been so proud to see and share this moment and we all felt her spirit in that rowboat.

She wanted us to enjoy a cozy dinner together: sharing stories, loving each other, looking at photographs from years gone by, enjoying Irish tea and honey, sugar wafers, ice cream, and star bursts in her memory. Time stood still in that cozy knotty pine room, with the numerous lit fireplaces, and the whole family together again. We were admiring pictures strung with lighted strands showcasing years of family connections, ate her favorite foods and topped it off with her personal favorite of apple pie and ice cream. As my son whispered to me that evening, “I see why you picked this place to have her celebration as the setting reminds all of us of being together at the cottage with the fireplace going, the knotty pine walls and sitting around eating, talking and laughing.” He reminded me of the funny expression we had at the cottage, “If only these knotty pine walls could talk!” So many years spent together at that cottage raising our children and so much history was embedded in those knotty pine walls. I was glad he noticed our intention. I think everyone relived some part of their past and their personal connection to the lessons she imparted. We watched a wonderful video that embodied the times spent and we cried, laughed and danced to the Macarena like ole times at the dance platform on White Island Pond. As a memento to Mum, we gave each guest a mason jar with a lovely picture of her inside, along with Irish Tea and honey. The evening was perfect and her spirit was there. She lives on in each of us and if we want to feel a bit closer, all we have to do is brew a nice hot cup of Irish tea from the mason jar.

I find myself putting the kettle on and having Irish Tea and honey more often than before and I take my daily beach walk to reflect on our time together. I cherish these traditions as it allows me to acknowledge her in the present. Sadness and doubt tries to slide into my thoughts but I push it aside and instead I enjoy a good cup of tea and I love my walks on the beach. Layers of azure cast a net over the ocean, and wheat and crimson seagrass stand tall in the distance. I allow these vibrant colors to wash all over me and I find that when I dig my toes deeper into the sand it helps keep me grounded.

A few days later after she passed, I headed back from my beach walk to my house and noticed something fluttering around in my flourishing garden. There was Mum greeting me perched so beautifully on top of my Purple Coneflowers. During one of our honest, deeper conversations we had, I happened to ask her what she thought would happen when she passed. She said a calmness would come over her and then she would be transformed into a beautiful butterfly so that she could come back and be with us anytime she liked. I loved that answer, and didn’t know the impact until it came true, and I captured the eloquent photo. “Welcome to my new beach house Mum”, I said.  Stop by anytime you wish!

You are our forever butterfly Mum.  With brave wings, she flies…

~ Marion Daniels Fink~     March 21, 1928 –  August 26, 2017